The 100 Word Stories Podcast

• Lisa
• Richard
• Tom
• Lizzie
• Serendipidy
• Norval Joe
• Planet Z

The next weekly challenge topic is: Together

LISA

The Weekly Shop

You’ve met Paul before I think, he’s just doing his weekly shop at the local hardware store. He likes their range (they sell plastic sheeting by the metre) but isn’t sure about the staff. Since the latest Netflix trend for true crime documentaries he always gets a comment when he buys cable ties.

Today’s no exception, as he lifts his massive bottles of acid back into the trolley.

“Did you find all you wanted today Mr Dahmer?” She giggles as she says it.

He thinks of that laughter as he waits in the car park for her shift to end.

RICHARD

Boldly gone.

With the probe at this range, messages take several weeks to reach us. That means, if the aliens are able to get their act together quickly enough after first contact, they could be orbiting earth before we have a chance to prepare.

That’s assuming the aliens can travel at near light speed, if they’re able to travel at all; for all we know, they could be a bunch of hairy apes, throwing bones around and incapable of speech.

Better that, than a warlike race that’s already seen us coming, and are gathering their forces in space… Just beyond our view.

TOM

Date Stamp 2523 Ministry of Defense Classified Your Eyes Only:

Designed for primary cooking, defrosting, and reheating, the “Radarange” heats food by microwave energy generated at 2450 megacycles, produced by QK-390 continuous wave, air-cooled magnetrons. In model 1161, two magnetrons produce a maximum of 1600 watts. The food in the “Radarange” oven is penetrated by the microwaves to a depth of about 2 1/2 inches. The microwave energy sets up molecular friction deep within the food. No physical change takes place in the food, except the normal changes caused by the heat. The stainless steel of the oven resist microwave penetration, they do not get hot.

The reason for my absence

For a decade and a half, we got our internet service from Mediacom. The relationship was combative. Being the last power pole in our corner of the county the company often sent us letters stating we were not on any of their service maps. Thus, no equipment was present at that power pole. To one part of the company, we didn’t exist. But to the billing department we did. Try as we may we couldn’t get a second line added, because there was no first line present. So we ran lines to the max of the physical limit of the fiber optics.

In the exit installment we will address the wisdom of redundant systems. To be continued

SERENDIPIDY

Beyond the range of human senses there exists an entirely different world, about which we know little, and understand less.

Very occasionally, our two worlds collide, leading to ghostly experiences, alien encounters, and all manner of strange and unsettling phenomenon. Barely tangible, often unbelievable, and always disturbing.

But, it works both ways, and just as we experience strange connections with ‘the other side’, we are just as intriguing to those who meet with us.

Just imagine waking up one dark night, and there, hovering in a corner of your room, is the utterly terrifying, unexplained, ghostly presence of…

LIZZIE

I was setting up the new store display. Pillows and whatever… Plus the robot, of course. The boss loved the robot.
That’s when a customer asked “What’s the price range?”
How do I know?!
“We don’t sell peace and quiet, sir.”
He opened his mouth as if to say something. Then, he gave up.
Stupid customers.
“Anything else, sir?”
That’s when he snatched the robot and ran!
The range on the tracker was huge. I didn’t bother chasing him. The boss would find it.
I, however, had trouble finding a new job.
Peace and quiet… I wish someone sold that.

NORVAL JOE

Billbert thought about what the old man had said. If he was the stronger of the pair, and he amplified Sabrina, if he could touch her, maybe she would be able to bring in a tornado or something.
As he concentrated on moving toward her, Billbert realized he was floating just above the floor. The dark knights influence over his powers was only when they touched him. They didn’t have a range effect.
Billbert shot forward, scooped up Sabrina and blasted through the cabin door to freedom.
Then the old man called after them, “I still have your other friend.”

PLANET Z

Home on the range.
Where the deer and antelope play.
What do they play?
Tag? No.
Poker? No. Dogs play poker.
You know, the painting.
Deer play Russian Roulette.
They saw The Deer Hunter, and deer are impressionable.
And invite the antelope into their games.
They can’t get a hold of revolvers, so they use hunting rifles left by careless hunters.
Somehow, they get them loaded and pointed at their heads.
And pull the trigger.
Nobody wins. The deer. the antelope.
Or the hunters.
Can’t even do anything with the heads.
All blown apart, nothing left to stuff and mount.

• Richard
• Tom
• Lizzie
• Serendipidy
• Norval Joe
• Planet Z

The next weekly challenge topic is: Range

RICHARD

Dress sense

In no way could you possibly consider me a style icon. Unless your idea of style is messy, comfortable slobbishness!

Fashion is certainly not my forte, and anything even remotely stylish in my wardrobe owes more to luck than judgement.

Most of the time, it’s jeans, and crumpled t-shirt. Despite that, I think I cut quite a dashing figure in a suit. That is, when I can be bothered, or the situation merits getting dressed up.

And it doesn’t happen all that often.

Usually, somebody has to die.

But, when they do, I’m always the best-dressed at any funeral.

LIZZIE

They made her wear a long checkered coat that matched the background.
“Color. Style. It’s intentional, darling,” said the director.
The multitude of patterns gave her a headache.
Then, they added a huge hat. “For balance,” they said.
“This is very Alice-like,” she muttered.
The director smiled a condescending smile.
“Ever directed a play, darling?”
“No.”
“Well then… This stage. It’s different! New!”
“What?! It’s a ripoff from Burton’s!”
“Out,” shouted the director. “Out, now!”
OK, time to call Mr. B and let him know he was right. This copycat wouldn’t be calling anyone else “darling” for a long time.

TOM

Flower Schism

The deadliest of our species are members of the Ladies Church Flower Guild. Lightning fast to act, with no compunction to rain-down rigorous death on usurpers. I have seen bishops brought to their knees. Vatican Emissaries shipped back to Rome in boxes. But nothing compares to the Flower Schism of 1968 when Mary Elizabeth Murray went after Mary Margret Edwards. It was biblical throw-down. When the dust clear only a handful of altar boys were left. My last act in that church with ecclesiastical vestments dripping read, was to place the remaining flower on the bodies outside the burning church.

my absence

My friend, god rest his soul, oped-in on Starlink beta test. Little did we know that that account was connected to a credit card that had been seriously max-ed out. So Starlink killed the service. I spent hours searching the Starlink web site for any form of customer service. Then any billing department links. Then any email at all, none. A company with no functioning contact information, not even a PO Box. There was no one and no way to get the service moved over to a new card. What kind of idiot starts a company with no billing department, oh Elon Musk.

Flower Schism

The deadliest of our species are members of the Ladies Church Flower Guild. Lightning fast to act, with no compunction to rain-down rigorous death on usurpers. I have seen bishops brough to their knees. Vatican Emissaries shipped back to Rome in boxes. But nothing compares to the Flower Schism of 1968 when Mary Elizibeth Murray went after Mary Margert Edwards. It was biblical throw-down. When the dust clear only a handful of altar boys were left. My last act in that church with ecclesiastical vestments dripping read, was to place the remaining flower on the bodies outside the burning church.

SERENDIPIDY

Slowly, you become aware of your surroundings. The pain in your head is severe and you feel the warm, stickiness of blood matting your hair.

There’s a ringing in your ears and you feel detached from your surroundings as you struggle to focus on the things around you.

You’re seeing double, and the world has become unclear and very distant.

You become aware of a blurry figure stood before you, and slowly, horribly, realisation dawns.

I raise the shotgun again, you’re staring down the barrel, and – as if from a great distance – you hear my voice…

“Ready for round two?”

NORVAL JOE

Billbert figured he could double down on acting confident and he thrust out his hand. “Here. Let me look at that scroll.”
The old man almost fell for it but jerked back the brittle role of parchment before Billbert could see what was written on it.
Billbert shook his head sadly. “Give me some help here, Sabrina. You’re the witch after all.”
She began to open her mouth, but the old man cut in instead. “She may be the witch, but she’s a weak one, except when in contact with you. You, young man, magnify and balance the witch’s power.”

PLANET Z

She balanced the flower basket on her head as she walked down the street.
A sign in the basket… roses for sale.
And a rose clenched between her teeth.
She’d motion for the tourists to put the money in their mouth.
And slowly, hands at her sides, she’d pass them the rose while taking the money.
By the time she got to the end of the block, her basket would be empty, and her pockets were full.
She’d walk into the bar at the corner and wash her mouth out with a glass of whiskey.
Filthy tourists. Do they brush?