Author: R.

• Richard
• Lizzie
• Tom
• Serendipidy
• Norval Joe
• Planet Z

The next topic is A melted chocolate bar

SARAH

I’ve always been ambitious, one who sets their sights on achieving the almost impossible, and my current objective could be challenging.
You see, I’m determined to get myself listed on the FBI’s most wanted list.
The competition is stiff, but I reckon I’m up to the task, it’s just a matter of coming up with the right strategy.
Should I become a serial killer, a terrorist, a cyber-criminal or fraudster?
So many interesting options, it makes it hard to decide.
Consequently, there’s really only one choice as far as I’m concerned.
I’ll simply have to do the whole lot!

LISA

Doing their bit for charity
Pete’s latest Charity shop find was an old looking pottery Spaniel. The volunteer laughed saying they’d had another one donated overnight.
A pair! He nearly dropped it in his excitement.
“I’ll take the other one too!” and haggled the price down.
He listed the pair on eBay as soon as he got home. The final bid was four figures.
A disgruntled buyer contacted Pete a week later – the Maker’s Marks had rubbed off so he’d reported Pete for selling fakes.
Pete’s account was closed immediately but the mystery donor continued adding clever little sharpie marks to their items before donating.

LIZZIE

Not listed?! He was furious. They had rejected his book. Years of work had been snubbed by pseudo-intellectuals who had nothing better to do than to scalpel every detail of his story. Yes, he got the color of his main character’s eyes wrong once, so? We could argue that it was a matter of perception, a symbolic overview of the character’s rage. But no, they had rejected his masterpiece without a second thought. Breathe in and out. Calm down. He stood at the door of the jury room, holding a katana and thinking he’d do much better than his character.

TOM

The Grand Index

“Mr. Franklin you don’t seem to be listed in Category B,” stated the clerk. “Please try Cat C,“ replied the priest. Lines scrolled across the screen. “Not there, Father. Should I go into File 140?” A quiet nod and the clerk open the iron cabinet. A shuffle of folders. “Nope not there. I think we’ll need to go down in the cellar and check the parchments. Down the marble slabs. The clerk unrolled the oldest sheep-skin. “Here. It says check the Stone. With flashlight in hand the two enter the crypt. On the Great Arch was the rune for Franklin.

NORVAL JOE

“If I listed every way their competition has complicated our efforts, it would take all night,” the man growled. “Suffice it to say, the Black Knights are malicious enough to rule the pacific northwest all on our own.”

The man seemed happy enough to brag about his capabilities that Billbert tried to keep him talking. “How could Sabrina do anything to them, wherever they are.”

“We know where they are right now.” He grinned. “A little wave from Sabrina might crash on the beach. But with your help, a tsunami will wipe them away.”

PLANET Z

We’ve been working around the clock to get the app ready for launch. Last minute testing and design changes, the beta program brought in a few more bugs and tweaks. Letting it run for a while, confirm that it was stable and working. Everyone gathered in the auditorium as the timer counted down and when it hit zero, everything stopped and then vanished.

Fred halted the worker processes and ran the image duplicator. The software development team artificial intelligence module is a complete success, bug free, and he knew he’d never have to write another program for himself ever again.

• Richard
• Lizzie
• Tom
• Serendipidy
• Norval Joe
• Planet Z

The next topic is Listed

RICHARD

— Star quality —
We started rating the kids’ chores around the house: one to five stars.
It’s gives them an incentive to do things well, and the number of stars they get is reflected in their pocket money.
It’s working well. Dishes are always washed, bedrooms are kept remarkably clean and tidy and any time there’s an errand to be run, there’s no shortage of volunteers.
In fact, it’s worked so well, I suggested using the system for the wife.
Meals, cleaning, shopping and so on, all rated, and rewarded with… sex.
“Can’t see the point” she responded, “You’re two stars, at best!”

LIZZIE

Five stars for what, crappy food?
The food was not bad, said the receptionist.
No? What about that horrid thing on the wall?
The receptionist looked up at the bull head skull. It was a sculpture, not the real deal. Besides, continued the receptionist, we are not in the business of eating the decor.
Insolent! The client’s always right!
Not here. You see, sir, here we rate the clients, not the other way around, and you are a 0.
What?!
Would you like the bull head skull wrapped to take, so you remember us, since we won’t allow you back?

SERENDIPIDY

Five stars, shining brightly in the night sky, never seen before, not part of any known constellation.
They gleam and twinkle more brightly than any other. What could they be?
Meteors? Asteroids? Comets, perhaps?
Or maybe they aren’t natural at all.
They could be satellites or space debris, burning up in the atmosphere as they fall to earth.
They aren’t satellites, although they are man-made.
But who made them? That’s the big question
Was it the Russians? Are they Chinese? Could they be American or from distant North Korea?
We’ll find out, soon enough.
Once they hit their targets.

TOM

The Game

The rules were simple. Five cities. Five riddles. Five Stars. You could have five members on your team. And most importantly was the Five hundred thousand dollars. Linda was the first to figure out New York was the first city to explore. Better she had narrowed it do to a particular area in what was once Five Points. An old map showed that once there was a body of water in the city. “We find the center of the Collection Pond we will find the star.” Said Linda. Bill asked “Any idea what it will look like?” Not a Clue.

NORVAL JOE

“You’re going to do us a favor,” a gruff voice said from behind Patrick.

“You’re the shooter from the meadow,” Billbert said when the man stepped into view. “You should be in prison.”

He just sniffed. “Your friend is going to help us obliterate the Five Star Sisters and their coven. They’ve interfered with the Black Knights for the last time. We know your girlfriend is most powerful when you’re touching each other, so, you’re going to put your hand on Sabrina’s neck, and I’m going to tell Sabrina what to do.”

Billbert hesitated. “And what if I don’t cooperate?”

PLANET Z

Normally, when you see a movie with five stars, it’s probably some Hollywood woke garbage that ticks all the diversity boxes and hates Republicans, conservatives, Trump, religion. everything the left preaches. So when I saw a well-known conservative reviewer give one of those leftist propaganda movies five stars I was completely flabbergasted. I wrote him asking why, and he said, he thought the movie was a parody of leftism in a comedy and not actually trying to be serious and he laughed all through it at how ham-fistedly stupid the writer and director and actor all had been.